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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?